Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
