Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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