Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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