someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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