i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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