dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
