I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
