I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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