So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
