is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
not ubering you a puppy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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