some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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