I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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