We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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