ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Come see our sink grown plant.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize