Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
