atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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