normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
