No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
