I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
