Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
