I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
