I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
