HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
