singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you had me at cake vodka
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
