physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
