you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
