I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
