Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
