Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
