Sry I called you an 8
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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