hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
