My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
