i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
