she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
