just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just google imaged poop.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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