you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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