I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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