i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
