Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
