it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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