I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
