I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
