Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
