I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
