Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
