adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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