i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
