My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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