Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
