So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
