My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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