Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
