Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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