I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My life is pants optional.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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