i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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