My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
