I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
