??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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