is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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