Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
