Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
