I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
