my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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