I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
