I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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